Who Needs Fiction or Bad Strategy?

Walt at A Plainly Hidden View sent me this. Below is an excerpt. The full article may be read here.


You know the oft quoted maxim from The Art of War by Sun Tzu, "Know yourself and know your enemy and you will be victorious in 100 battles" or something like that? The collory is not to pick a fight with someone who's capabilities you don't know.


This reminds also reminds me of a story about Kushida Sensei under whom I studied Yoshinkan Aikido (his martial art is now known as Yoshokai Aikido) when I was a young man.


One day, shortly after he first came to the US in the 70s, Kushida Sensei was locking up the old Detroit Dojo which was in a really bad neighborhood in Detroit. He's there, locking up the door in the alley when this guy comes up to him and tries to rob him. That is, this guy with a knife decides he's going to mug this Japanese guy who is in his prime, who is the size of a small mountain, and locking up a martial arts school.


Well, Kushida Sensei's idea of "making harmony" wasn't quite as ... evolved as it would become in later years. His assailant ended up in the hospital for a while. Kushida Sensei felt bad about busting him up and visited him every day, brought flowers, etc. 


The harmony thing worked out though. The bad guy took the opportunity of having some "down time" to think about his life and ended up becoming a minister who worked to improve the neighborhood he once prowled.


Anyway, to the story Walt sent me ...

Mugger picks wrong victim: MMA fighter

BY STEFANO ESPOSITO
AND TINA SFONDELES

Staff Reporters

Last Modified: Dec 6, 2011 04:17PM

“Justin” is 6 feet 2, 250 pounds, with a build that looks like it could split open a suit jacket during a particularly violent sneeze.

But the mixed martial arts expert from Des Plaines insists it was his “training,” not brawn, that allowed him to wrench a loaded pistol from the hand of an alleged mugger who had the weapon pointed at his chest Friday night on the Southwest Side.

“I don’t feel like a hero,” said Justin, who did not want his last name used. “Training matters. If you’re well trained, you have a chance to survive.”

Anthony Miranda’s bruised and battered face — and Justin’s unblemished, chiseled one — leaves no doubt about who came out the victor in the encounter.

Who Needs Fiction or Strategy #1: Deceive the Heavens to Cross the Ocean

A friend sent me an article from which I've posted an excerpt below. The full article may be read here.


Strategy #1 from The 36 Strategies, "Deceive the Heavens to Cross the Ocean" involves using a ruse, which is just what our Romeo did.


The story which goes along with this strategy goes something like this:


This stratagem references an episode in 643 AD, when Emperor Taizong of Tang, balked from crossing the sea to a campaign against Koguryo. His general Xue Rengui thought of a stratagem to get the emperor across and allay his fear of seasickness: on a clear day, the emperor was invited to meet a wise man. They entered through a dark tunnel into a hall where they feasted. After feasting several days, the Emperor heard the sound of waves and realised that he had been lured onto a ship! General Xue drew aside the curtains to reveal the ocean and confessed that they had already crossed the sea: Upon discovering this, the emperor decided to carry on and later completed the successful campaign.

Hitman falls in love with target and fakes her murder with tomato sauce

by Greig Box-Turnbull, Daily Mirror

With a gag in her mouth, a machete in her side and covered in “blood” this woman looks like the victim of a brutal murder.

But Iranildes Araujo did not suffer a cruel end – her death was faked with tomato sauce after a hitman fell in love with her.

Hired killer Carlos de Jesus was paid £345 to murder Iranildes by Maria Simoes who thought she was having an affair with her husband.

But when de Jesus saw his intended target he fell head over heels and confessed to her.

The pair then conjured up a plan to fool his employer into believing he carried out the hit.
Iranildes said: “I tore my shirt, put the knife by my side, then he tied me up and smothered me with tomato ketchup.”

The former convict then sent the sham photo of Iranildes to his client.

But the ruse was discovered three days later when Maria saw them kissing.

Amazingly she went to police to complain she had been conned out of her money.

Who Needs Fiction: Be Careful Whom You Fight

Sun Tzu would admonish us about picking the wrong opponent to fight. Below is an excerpt from an article which appeared in the Associated Press. You may read the whole article here.


We should certainly learn from the mistakes of others.

California man killed by armed bird at cockfight

Monday, February 7, 2011

(02-07) 15:09 PST Delano, Calif. (AP) --

A Kern County man attending a cockfight died after being stabbed in the leg by a bird that had a knife attached to its own limb.

The coroner says 35-year-old Jose Luis Ochoa was declared dead at the hospital about two hours after he suffered the injury in neighboring Tulare County on Jan. 30.

Who Needs Fiction: Crazy Hockey Parents

I thought you’d find this interesting. My immediate boss has a 10 year old who plays travel hockey and they were at a tournament in Canada over the holidays. One of the teams they played is ranked as the #2 team in North America (for 10 year olds!) and were losing to the American team.

The Canadian parents were going nuts. They got really ugly. The Canadians managed to win the game in the end, but it was an embarrassment for them to have to come from behind to beat some nobody American team.

After the game it was still ugly. The American coach came walking off the ice with a water bottle in each hand when one of the Canadian parents came up and grabbed him two handed by the throat and started to threaten him.

The American coach gave him the option of removing his hands or having his hands removed. The Canadian responded by jamming his thumbs into the American’s throat.

The American coach is a 3^rd Dan in Karate.

As described by my boss, he swung his arms over, in and down to collapse the Canadian’s arms at the elbow and swept his feet out from under him, causing him to go down hard.

As another Canadian parent was reaching in towards the American, there was a wave of people who swept over them basically leaving a pile of bodies all heaped on top of the American at the bottom. There was a loud ‘snap’, followed by the Canadian who was reaching in to start screaming his head off.

By that time the police arrived and started to sort things out. The American coach and others who got roughed up pressed charges.

It was the third offense in a hockey arena for that Canadian parent who started the whole thing. He’s been charged with something or another and is looking at a couple of years of prison time. The prosecutor was pretty confident that he’d win the case and felt the defendant needed to be an example to other out of control hockey parents.

The Canadian team coach apologized to the American team. He said he’s not a parent coach, but a paid coach and will be removing some kids from the roster.

The tournament director felt that the Canadian kids shouldn’t be punished for their parents being morons, but banned the parents from the arena for the rest of the tournament, which the Canadian kids went on to win. The only adults associated with the team to see them win were their coaches.

The whole thing was recorded on a security camera. The American coach filed a freedom of information act (Canadian equivalent) request to obtain it for the civil case he’s filing. It’s sure to make its way around the hockey club and I will eventually get to see it.

Who needs fiction?

How do you think you would have responded in the American coach's shoes?

The 2010 Darwin Awards.

And once again, it's time for the Darwin Award Nominees. "The Darwins" are
awarded every year to the persons who died in the stupidest manner, thereby
removing themselves from the gene pool.

Here is the official 2010 list. Notice the interesting spin for this year's
first place award which comes to us...-from of all places, Arkansas. How
surprising is that?

This years nominees are:

Nominee No. 1: (San Jose Mercury News):

An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former
girlfriends windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun
discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.

Nominee No. 2: (Kalamazoo Gazette):

James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo, MI, was killed in March as he was
trying to repair what police describe as a "farm-type truck." Burns got a
friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns hung underneath so that
he could ascertain the source of a troubling noise. Burns clothes caught on
something, however, and the other man found Burns "wrapped around the drive
shaft."

Nominee No. 3: (Hickory Daily Record):

Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in December in
Newton, NC. Awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he
reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson 38 Special, which
discharged when he drew  it to his ear.

Nominee No. 4: (UPI , Toronto):

Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown
Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with  his shoulder and plunged 24
floors to his death. A police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into the
courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was
explaining the strength of the buildings' windows to visiting law students.
Hoy previously has conducted demonstrations of window strength according to
police reports.

Peter Lawson, managing partner of the firm Holden Day Wilson, told the
Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the best and brightest" members
of the 200-man association.

Nominee No. 5: (The News of the Weird):

Michael Anderson Godwin made News of the Weird posthumously. He had spent
several years awaiting South Carolina's electric chair on a murder
conviction before having his sentence reduced to life in prison. While
sitting on a metal toilet in his cell attempting to fix his small TV set, he
bit into a wire and was electrocuted.

Nominee No. 6

A cigarette lighter may have triggered a fatal explosion in Dunkirk, IN. A
Jay Countryman, using a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a muzzle
loader, was killed Monday night when the weapon discharged in his face,
sheriffs investigators said.  Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in his parents'
rural Dunkirk home at about 11:30 PM. Investigators said Pryor was cleaning
a 54-caliber muzzle-loader that had not been firing properly. He was using
the lighter to look into the barrel when the gunpowder ignited.

Nominee No. 7: (Reuters, Mississauga, Ontario):

A man cleaning a bird feeder on the balcony of his condominium apartment in
this Toronto suburb slipped and fell 23  stories to his death. Stefan Macko,
55, was standing on a wheelchair when the accident occurred, said Inspector
Darcy Honer of the Peel Regional Police. "It appears that the chair moved,
and he went over the balcony, " Honer said.
 
Finally, THE WINNER!!: (Arkansas Democrat Gazette):

Two local men were injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck
a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday. Woodruff County
deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight Monday.
Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock,
were returning to Des Arc after a frog catching trip. On an overcast Sunday
night, Poole's pickup truck headlights malfunctioned. The two men concluded
that the headlight fuse on the older-model truck had burned out. As a
replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that the 22 caliber
bullets from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the
steering- wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet the headlights again began
to operate properly, and the two men proceeded on eastbound toward the White
River Bridge.

After traveling approximately 20 miles, and just before crossing the river,
the bullet apparently overheated, discharged, and struck Poole in the
testicles. The vehicle swerved sharply right, exiting the pavement, and
striking a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the
accident but will require extensive surgery to repair the damage to his
testicles, which will never operate as intended.

Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released "Thank God
we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his nuts off, or we might both
be dead, " stated Wallis.

"I've been a trooper for 10 years in this part of the world, but this is a
first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit how this accident
happened, " said Snyder.  Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia (Poole's
wife), asked how many frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get them from
the truck. Priorities, after all!!

Though Poole and Wallis did not die as a result of their misadventure as
normally required by Darwin Award Official Rules, it can be argued that
Poole did, in fact, effectively remove himself from the gene pool.

Strategy or Who Needs Fiction. You Decide.

In our review of The 36 Strategies, remember #31, Scheme with Beauties? Well here's an example from real life. It's just so absurd, I'd be tempted to put it in the Who Needs Fiction category as well.

The story has appeared in many news outlets. Below is an excerpt from ComputerWorld. The whole article may be read here.

Fake femme fatale shows social network risks

Researcher Thomas Ryan says fictitious Robin Sage character fooled many holding security, military and intelligence posts

By Jaikumar Vijayan

Computerworld - Hundreds of people in the information security, military and intelligence fields recently found themselves with egg on their faces after sharing personal information with a fictitious Navy cyberthreat analyst named "Robin Sage," whose profile on prominent social networking sites was created by a security researcher to illustrate the risks of social networking.

In a conversation with Computerworld, Thomas Ryan, co-founder of Provide Security, said he used a few photos to portray the fictional Sage on Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter as an attractive, somewhat flirty cybergeek, with degrees from MIT and a prestigious prep school in New Hampshire. 

Then he established connections with some 300 men and women from the U.S. military, intelligence agencies, information security companies and government contractors.

The goal, said Ryan, was to determine how effective social networking sites can be in conducting covert intelligence-gathering activities. 

Despite some patently obvious red flags -- such as noting that the 25-year-old Sage had worked professionally for 10 years -- the scheme worked. The connections to Sage, who was depicted as a real-life Abby Scuito, a fictional character in CBS's NCIS television series, were established in less than a month.

Many friends freely shared personal information and photos, invited the fictional threat analyst to conferences and asked her to review documents. Some "friends" at major companies, including Google and Lockheed Martin, even expressed interest in hiring her, he noted.

Who Needs Fiction: David Carradine's Kung Fu Workout

It's no wonder the Order of the Avenging Dragon of the Imperial Guards of the Dragon Throne had it out for him ...

Who Needs Fiction: Sex and Daoism

A friend sent me this article. My commentary is unnecessary. The whole article may be read here.

Driver guilty of duping `stupid' model into sex

DianaLee

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

A truck driver claiming to be a Taoist master was yesterday found guilty of duping a young model into having sex with him on the pretext it would improve her luck.

District Court judge Stanley Chan Kwong-chi postponed sentencing to January 21 pending a psychological report and remanded Au Yeung Kwok-fu, 55, in custody.

The self-proclaimed Mao Shan practitioner was convicted on nine counts of having unlawful sexual intercourse under false pretenses between April and December 2007. Au Yeung was bound over for HK$200 for an indecent assault conviction in 1974.

The judge described the complainant, then a 19-year-old model with Form Three education, as stupid, ignorant and simple- minded in having sex with a man 20 years her senior on the blind faith it would bring her fame and wealth.

 
But he also found her to be an honest witness. On the other hand, Kwong said, Au Yeung lied in court and fabricated excuses. He rejected the defense contention that during the sex rituals Au Yeung had no control over his body as he was possessed by his master's spirit.

Who Needs Fiction: Worse Run City in America

Before getting to the main point of this post, I just wanted to remind everyone who is going to take part in the 2010 Lenten Challenge, that Lent starts tomorrow!


When I saw the headline, I thought for sure it was going to be about Detroit. Nope. San Francisco.


Below is an excerpt from an article that appeared in the San Francisco News. I bet they were a little biased and didn't give Detroit full marks.Click here to read the entire article. It's hilarious.

It's time to face facts: San Francisco is spectacularly mismanaged and arguably the worst-run big city in America. This year's city budget is an astonishing $6.6 billion — more than twice the budget for the entire state of Idaho — for roughly 800,000 residents. Yet despite that stratospheric amount, San Francisco can't point to progress on many of the social issues it spends liberally to tackle — and no one is made to answer when the city comes up short.

The city's ineptitude is no secret. "I have never heard anyone, even among liberals, say, 'If only [our city] could be run like San Francisco,'" says urbanologist Joel Kotkin. "Even other liberal places wouldn't put up with the degree of dysfunction they have in San Francisco. In Houston, the exact opposite of San Francisco, I assume you'd get shot."

Who Needs Fiction?: The Darwin Awards

The stories that make up the Darwin Awards get checked out. Someone sent these to me via email. I don't know if these are the authentic awards or not, but they'll make you laugh.

It's Time For: Stupidity

Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
Here is the glorious winner:

1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
And now, the honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15.

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

10. When a man 20 attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with friends and family...unless of course one of these individuals by chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In that case, be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.

*** Remember... They walk among us!!!

Who Needs Fiction: Character Building

You can't make this stuff up. I think there's a Darwin Award here. If you click on the title of this post, you'll be directed to the whole story.

Man Dies of Thirst During Survival Test

By ED WHITE, Associated Press Writer

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

(05-02) 10:44 PDT Boulder, Utah (AP) --

A man died of thirst during a wilderness-survival exercise designed to test his physical and mental toughness, even though guides had water. They didn't offer him any because they did not want to spoil the character-building experience.

By Day 2 in the blazing Utah desert, Dave Buschow was in bad shape. Pale, wracked by cramps, his speech slurred, the 29-year-old New Jersey man was desperate for water and hallucinating so badly he mistook a tree for a person.

After going roughly 10 hours without a drink in the 100-degree heat, he finally dropped dead of thirst, face down in the dirt, less than 100 yards from the goal: a cave with a pool of water.

But Buschow was no solitary soul, lost and alone in the desert. He and 11 other hikers from various walks of life were being led by expert guides on a wilderness-survival adventure designed to test their physical and mental toughness.

And the guides, it turned out, were carrying emergency water on that torrid summer day.

Buschow wasn't told that, and he wasn't offered any. The guides did not want him to fail the $3,175 course. They wanted him to dig deep, push himself beyond his known limits, and make it to the cave on his own.

Nearly a year later, documents obtained by The Associated Press under the Freedom of Information Act reveal those and other previously undisclosed details of what turned out to be a death march for Buschow. They also raise questions about the judgments and priorities of the guides at the Boulder Outdoor Survival School. What matters more: the customer's welfare or his quest?

"It was so needless. What a shame. It didn't have to happen," said Ray Gardner, the Garfield County sheriff's deputy who hiked six miles to recover Buschow's body. "They had emergency water right there. I would have given him a drink."

Family members are angry.

Who needs fiction: Maurice Clarett

If you click on the title of this post, you'll be directed to the story.


Former OSU star Clarett arrested with guns in SUV after chase
By ANDY RESNIK, Associated Press WriterAugust 9, 2006
AP - Aug 9, 7:17 am EDT

COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) -- Maurice Clarett was arrested early Wednesday after a highway chase that ended with police using Mace on the former Ohio State running back and finding four loaded guns in his sport utility vehicle.

Officers used Mace to subdue Clarett after a stun gun was ineffective because the former Fiesta Bowl star was wearing a bullet-resistant vest, Sgt. Michael Woods said.

"It took several officers to get him handcuffed," Woods said. "Even after he was placed in the paddy wagon, he was still kicking at the doors and being a problem for the officers."

Police planned to charge him with carrying concealed weapons and other counts, Woods said. He was taken to police headquarters to be interviewed, then was moved to the Franklin County Jail.
Wearing tan jail-issue clothes, he talked on the telephone in the booking area, separated from reporters by a window. He was to be held at the jail at least until an arraignment Thursday morning, unless his attorneys work out an agreement for his release, police said.

Clarett made an illegal U-turn on the city's east side and failed to stop when officers, in a cruiser with lights flashing, tried to pull him over, Woods said.

Police pursued Clarett onto eastbound Interstate 70 when he darted across the median and began heading west. Clarett drove over a spike strip that was placed on the highway, flattening the driver's side tires of the SUV.

Clarett exited the highway and pulled into a restaurant parking lot, where officers removed him from the SUV after he failed to obey numerous orders to exit the vehicle, Woods said.
After Clarett was placed in a police van, officers discovered a loaded rifle and three loaded handguns in the front of his vehicle.

Woods said he did not know where Clarett got the guns or why he had them, and that federal authorities plan to trace their ownership.

The 22-year-old Clarett is currently awaiting trial on two counts of aggravated robbery, four counts of robbery and one count of carrying a concealed weapon in a separate case. Authorities said he was identified by witnesses as the person who flashed a gun and robbed two people of a cell phone in an alley behind the Opium Lounge in Columbus in the early hours of Jan. 1.

Messages seeking comment were left Wednesday morning for Clarett's attorneys in that case, Nick Mango and Michael Hoague.

Clarett scored the winning touchdown in the second overtime of the Fiesta Bowl against Miami to lead Ohio State to the 2002 national championship, the school's first since 1968. But that was the last game the freshman played for Ohio State.

He sat out the 2003 season after being charged with misdemeanor falsification on a police report, then dropped out of school. He sued to be included in the 2004 NFL draft and lost in court.

A surprise third-round pick in the 2005 draft, he was cut by the Denver Broncos during the preseason.