Who Needs Fiction: The Worst Martial Arts Instructors

If you type "Worst Martial Arts Instructors" into the search box on YouTube, you'll find a lot of entertainment.

There is nothing I can add to the spectacle.

A sample of the genre is below. Enjoy your browsing!

Contemporary Duelling

One of the reasons that I enjoy the book The Secret History of the Sword, is that it contains recounts of real duels both in English and translated from other European languages. It's a little easier to wrap one's head around than translations from Eastern languages.

It seems in some German universities, there has been a tradition that goes back a couple of hundred years, of intra mural fencing with sharpened swords.

The rules are rigid. The fencers must maintain their position on a line. Protective eyewear is worn, but little else in the way of facial armor. Basically, the goal is to scar the opponent's face.

Do you know the famous Heidelberg Scar? That.

The author of the book took part in one of these duels (and drank beer afterwards).

Below is a short video on the phenomenon. Enjoy.

Who Needs Fiction: 1970's Ads for Martial Arts Instruction

Here is a link to a wonder article which is a compendium of martial arts instruction ads found in comic books from the 1970s.

I simply can't do it justice by posting an excerpt. You have to see it for yourself. 

Enjoy.

As we all know from reading comic books and watching movies, the 1970s were a time when lethal ninjas and club-wielding goons lurked around every corner, kicking sand into the faces of honest, hard-working comics readers at every opportunity. The people cried out for something, anything, that could save them from these ruffians, and as they always have, comic books stepped up to help in the most efficient and effective way possible: Advertising!
Comics had always provided their readers with the most exciting purchasing opportunities — nuclear submarines, X-Ray glasses, even the occasional piece of real Kryptonite — but between 1971 and 1974, they were full of opportunities to train yourself in the lethal arts of self-defense. That’s why we here at ComicsAlliance are compiling a comprehensive list of the greatest promises for deadly hands and death touches in this, our Grand Compendium Of Comic Book Martial Arts Instructional Advertisements From The ’70s.


Read More: The Grand Compendium Of 70s Comics Martial Arts Instruction Ads | http://comicsalliance.com/1970s-comics-martial-arts-instruction-ads/?trackback=tsmclip

As we all know from reading comic books and watching movies, the 1970s were a time when lethal ninjas and club-wielding goons lurked around every corner, kicking sand into the faces of honest, hard-working comics readers at every opportunity. The people cried out for something, anything, that could save them from these ruffians, and as they always have, comic books stepped up to help in the most efficient and effective way possible: Advertising!
Comics had always provided their readers with the most exciting purchasing opportunities — nuclear submarines, X-Ray glasses, even the occasional piece of real Kryptonite — but between 1971 and 1974, they were full of opportunities to train yourself in the lethal arts of self-defense. That’s why we here at ComicsAlliance are compiling a comprehensive list of the greatest promises for deadly hands and death touches in this, our Grand Compendium Of Comic Book Martial Arts Instructional Advertisements From The ’70s.


Read More: The Grand Compendium Of 70s Comics Martial Arts Instruction Ads | http://comicsalliance.com/1970s-comics-martial-arts-instruction-ads/?trackback=tsmclip

Who Needs Fiction: Seriously Applying the 10,000 Hour Theory

From time to time there have been posts here regarding the 10,000 hour theory, famously explained by Malcolm Gladwell.

Basically, something in common among masters of virtually anything is that they have logged at least 10,000 hours of deliberate practice.There is far more to it than that, but there you have it in a nutshell.

Once that was published, there was a rush among amateurs of every endeavor to begin logging hours like mad, hoping to achieve mastery through the simple accumulation of training time. 

Training more helps, but it isn't everything.

In a book by the authors of Freakonomics, "When to Rob a Bank," they introduced Dan.

Dan decided that he wanted to become a professional golfer, never having golfed seriously before. He quit his job and devoted himself to trainng under a golf pro, according to the 10,000 hour plan. 

His progress has been remarkable. Below is an excerpt from his website. The home page from his website is here.

It’s a project in transformation. An experiment in potential and possibilities. Through 10,000 hours of “deliberate practice,” Dan, who currently has minimal golf experience, plans on becoming a professional golfer. But the plan isn’t really about golf: through this process, Dan hopes to prove to himself and others that it’s never too late to start a new pursuit in life.  For a detailed description of the project, please read this blog post: http://thedanplan.com/blog/?p=1090

WHO IS DAN?

Dan is an average man by most standards. When The Dan Plan began, he was a 30-year-old commercial photographer with no previous experience as a competitive athlete, nor was he in particularly good physical condition. Dan is slightly under average height and weight, had never played a full 18 holes of golf, and had only been to a driving range a handful of times. He was not even sure if he was a left-or right-handed golfer. Dan currently resides in Portland, Oregon.

WHY?

Through his journey Dan hopes to inspire others to start exploring the possibilities life affords them. Though his isn’t an easy endeavor and is quite possibly impossible, if it inspires even one person to quit their day job and find happiness in their own plan, then the Dan Plan is a success.

THE DETAILS

On April 5th, 2010, Dan quit his day job as a commercial photographer and began The Dan Plan. Having never played 18 holes of golf in his life, Dan started the 10,000 hour journey with just a putter.  After five months of putting, he received his second club, a pitching wedge. Just before the first anniversary of The Dan Plan dan took his first full-swing lesson.

 After 18 months he swung a driver for the first time.  On December 28, 2011 he played his first full round with a full set of clubs.  Since then it has been off to the races.

Logging in 30-plus hours a week he will hit the 10,000 hour milestone by December 2016. During this time, Dan plans to develop his skills through deliberate practice, eventually winning amateur events and obtaining his PGA Tour card through a successful appearance in the PGA Tour’s Qualifying School, or “Q-School”.

THE THEORY

Talent has little to do with success. According to research conducted by Dr. K. Anders Ericsson, Professor of Psychology at Florida State University, “Elite performers engage in ‘deliberate practice’–an effortful activity designed to improve target performance.” Dr. Ericsson’s studies, made popular through Malcolm Gladwell’s book Outliers and Geoff Colvin’s Talent is Overrated, have found that in order to excel in a field, roughly 10,000 hours of “stretching yourself beyond what you can currently do” is required. “I think you’re the right astronaut for this mission,” Dr. Ericsson said about The Dan Plan.

Who Needs Fiction: Robot Mimics Expert Swordsman

Yaskawa Electric Corporation made a promotional video recently, training a robot to mimic expert swordsman Isao Machii.

While don't expect sword wielding warrior robots to be available very soon, it's an interesting demonstration of technology. 

Who Needs Fiction: Home Self Defense

My friend over at The Dao of Strategy sent me this. The full article may be read here. Enjoy.

When a man broke into Karen Dolley’s home on Thursday night, her training in medieval combat came in handy. So did her sword.

The 43-year-old woman said she awoke around midnight to the voice of a man in her house near 10th Street and Emerson Avenue on Indianapolis' Eastside.

She leapt out of bed, turned on the lights and saw him standing in her living room, she said. Then her instincts kicked in.

Dolley, standing 5-foot-6, said she immediately attacked, punching him about 10 times and cornering him in her bedroom.

She reached for her gun in a nearby drawer, but she accidentally opened the wrong drawer during the chaos of the moment, so her gun wasn’t there.

She reached for her backup weapon, a Japanese-styled sword called ninjato, which she keeps near her bed. Her intruder crouched in the bedroom as she held him at sword-point until police arrived, she said.

She called 911 and police arrived within two minutes, she said.

Police say Jacob Wessel, 30, of Greenwood, was arrested after forcing his way through the house's backdoor. Wessel, standing at 5-foot-10, was later charged with residential entry, a Level 6 felony.

“I didn’t think I was getting good blows in but my knuckles are bruised today,” said Dolley, 43, on Friday. “Hitting someone like that, it isn’t like the movies. You’re expecting it to be louder and see people jerk around, but that’s not how it happens in real life.”
This is the sword Karen Dolley, 43, used on Thursday

Dolley actually has some experience in medieval combat fighting from her days as an 18-year-old fighter in the Society for Creative Anachronism, a nonprofit for members who re-create arts and skills from Europe prior to the 17th Century, according to the organization’s website.

Dolley would don armor and engage in unchoreographed fights using rattan swords, which are safer than steel. She fought against men who stood taller than 6 feet and had 20 years experience.

Crane vs Tiger Kung Fu

The Tiger Crane set is a famous Hung Gar form.

At a zoo in China, a red-crowned crane flew into the tiger enclosure. Much of the enclosure is covered, so the crane couldn't immediately fly out. It was quickly set upon by 3 tigers.

The crane didn't do too badly. It not only defended itself but actually chased the three tigers off while suffering minimum injury to itself.

Below is a video of the encounter. You can read about the encounter at the Huffington Post here.



... and of course, I couldn't leave this post without posting the Hung Gar Tiger Crane set.

Team Martial Arts Sports?

Calcio Florentino is an old sport from Florence Italy, which is experiencing a modern revival. It's part rugby, part MMA.

Enjoy.

Combat Nuns

All of my Catholic friends will nod their heads in agreement that nun MUST practice their own secret martial arts. The video below is proof.

As an aside - I lost my fear of authority figures when I heard the story of my mother getting into a fist fight with a nun when she was 12. Apparently they were about the same size and weight.

Six Martial Arts Tournaments

You can't make this stuff up. Below is an excerpt from an article describing six absolutely crazy martial arts tournaments. The full article may be read here.

 Next to sex, there's nothing that delights the old primate tendencies quite like dealing someone a good ol' fist upside the cranium. Sadly, the vast majority of us have candy for an ass and are far too removed from our caveman days to get our own knuckles all scuffed up. So instead, we watch people fight our battles for us on the TV, while assuring all within earshot that we could totally whip their butts if we wanted to (we just don't, and never will want to). But like any spectator event, martial arts tournaments must fight tooth and nail to hold on to our ever more fickle attention spans. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how we end up with certifiably insane competitions like ...

#6. Hip Show

#5. Knight Fighting Leagues

#4. Pillow Fight League

#3. TFC: Team Fighting Championship

2. Russian Wall-on-Wall Fights

#1. Dambe

 

 

 

Who Needs Fiction:Martial Arts Politics

If there is more than one person in a room, politics is taking place. One of the bad things about martial arts organizations is that they are frequently hotbeds of politics. I guess that is just human nature.

My associate over at Dao of Strategy sent me an article on this topic. An excerpt is below. The full article may be read here.

Israeli Martial Arts Gurus Duke It Out For Real

By Marissa Brostoff

When grandmaster Haim Gidon, a top-ranking practitioner of the Israeli martial art of Krav Maga, entered a studio in New Jersey on a recent Monday, the 20-odd people in the room stopped pummeling each other and lined up like soldiers standing at attention. Gidon was visiting from Israel to give them advanced training, and the students — who included law enforcement officers, military personnel and Grammy Award-winning singer-songwriter John Mayer — treated him like a commanding officer.

But in an interview with the Forward after the session, Gidon seemed less eager to talk about his new acolytes than about his old adversaries — the other disciples of Krav Maga founder Imi Lichtenfeld who formed rival organizations after his death in 1998.

“They all say they are the originals,” Gidon fumed, through a translator. “But if you say you are the originals, show us your proof!”

The strange journey of krav maga — a martial art characterized by gritty street-fighting techniques and, these days, by equally gritty animosity between the organizations that teach it — began in Czechoslovakia just before World War II, when Lichtenfeld, a young gymnast, developed it as a self-defense technique against fascist predators. Lichtenfeld brought the discipline with him to Israel, where it became absorbed into Israeli military training. There, soldiers like Gidon became Lichtenfeld’s top students — and later spread krav maga around the world.

Krav maga has been taught in the United States at least since the early 1980s, and today hundreds of classes are offered throughout the country, many of them in conjunction with military and police training. Its popularity has spiked in the last couple of years as celebrities like Leonardo DiCaprio and Jennifer Lopez have undergone training.

But the technique’s growing popularity has also intensified tensions between the organizations that teach it — over the authenticity of their methods, the realism of their fighting techniques and even the use of the term “krav maga.”

“They all hate each other,” said Elizabeth Greenman, who teaches the martial art in New York through an organization called Commando Krav Maga. “Every group hates each other. In the end it’s about money and clientele.”

Who Needs Fiction: F(l)light Club

A friend sent this article. An excerpt is posted below. The full article may be read here. What I want to know is what about those kung fu trained flight attendants?!

Fight on Chinese flight caught on camera

By Ed Flanagan, NBC News

BEIJING – Passengers on flights around China recently have not always been flying the friendly skies.

Late last month, on Aug. 29, Fang Daguo, a senior Guangzhou government official from the southern province of Guangdong made news in China when he had a drunken altercation with a flight attendant on a plane going between Guangzhou and Hefei.

The attack only came to light after the flight attendant posted photos of her bruises and rips in her uniform on China’s Twitter-like service, Weibo.

Just a few days later, on Sept. 2, a Swiss Air flight to Beijing was forced to return to Zurich after two Chinese men got into a scuffle. According to one account, a 57-year-old male passenger became infuriated when the 29-year-old man in the seat ahead of him reclined his chair and refused to put his seat upright for the meal. Infuriated and reportedly extremely intoxicated, the elder passenger slapped the younger man in the back of the head, sparking a brawl to ensue.
Security eventually stepped in and the older passenger was restrained with cable ties at the front of the plane, where he was said to have yelled for an hour.

The captain eventually turned the plane around and returned to Zurich.

Who Needs Fiction: Another Warrior Poet

A few months ago, I made a post about Cameron Conaway, who was formerly a MMA cage fighter and an award winning poet.

Here is another one from the pages of the news. Below is an excerpt. The full article may be read here.

Have-a-go poet floors moped mugger with karate kicks

Justin Davenport, Crime Editor
27 Feb 2012

A 60-year-old poet karate-kicked a mugger to the ground as he tried to flee with a woman's handbag.

Neil Gevisser, who learned the martial art in his native South Africa, went into action after a heavily built young thug robbed a mother as she waited in her car to collect her child from school.
The robber smashed a window in the 4x4 with a stone, snatched the bag and sprinted away to a moped which he had left running when Mr Gevisser, alerted by the 40-year-old woman's screams, intervened.

Mr Gevisser aimed a karate kick at the moped, sending it spinning around and throwing the robber to the ground.

When the mugger leapt up and advanced towards him, Mr Gevisser, who is 5ft 8ins tall, kicked him in the stomach with a "karate roundhouse" and then in the shins. The robber ran off empty-handed, limping.

Who Needs Fiction:Japanese Love Hotels and Justice

A friend sent me this article, which is a review of a book, Lovesick Japan: Sex, Marriage, Romance, Law. By Mark West. An excerpt is below. The full article may be read here.

Waltzing into bedrooms and brothels

A new book on love and the law in Japan

Jun 2nd 2011 | from the print edition

Lovesick Japan: Sex, Marriage, Romance, Law. By Mark West. Cornell University Press; 259 pages; $29.95 and £19.95. Buy from Amazon.com 



ON FEBRUARY 19th 2006 Kimiko and her married lover Tetsuo checked into an Osaka love-hotel, swallowed sedatives and slit their wrists. When they awoke at midnight and realised their suicides had failed, Tetsuo strangled Kimiko at her request, then tried to hang himself and cut his wrists again. 

Unsuccessful, he called the police. At the trial, where an American court would consider questions of intent, the Japanese court based its ruling on whether Kimiko was in love. If she was, the court reasoned, she may have consented to her murder and Tetsuo would receive a lighter sentence.

Many facets of Japan seem mysterious to outsiders. Courts are sometimes obliged to seek answers to questions about love that may well be unanswerable. Yet in cases where love might indeed have a bearing, such as divorce, judges usually ignore the emotion entirely. Teasing out the mysteries of Japanese society by way of its statutes is the speciality of Mark West, a professor at Michigan Law School.

In “Lovesick Japan” he trolls through 2,700 court opinions to paint a picture of a country that treats marriage more as an economic contract than an emotional bond. As seen by the judiciary, a little adultery should not trump marriage as an institution. “Japanese courts have no problem waltzing into bedrooms and brothels in ways that are not essential to deciding the case at hand,” he writes. “What they find there rarely seems to please them.”

Who Needs Fiction or Bad Strategy?

Walt at A Plainly Hidden View sent me this. Below is an excerpt. The full article may be read here.


You know the oft quoted maxim from The Art of War by Sun Tzu, "Know yourself and know your enemy and you will be victorious in 100 battles" or something like that? The collory is not to pick a fight with someone who's capabilities you don't know.


This reminds also reminds me of a story about Kushida Sensei under whom I studied Yoshinkan Aikido (his martial art is now known as Yoshokai Aikido) when I was a young man.


One day, shortly after he first came to the US in the 70s, Kushida Sensei was locking up the old Detroit Dojo which was in a really bad neighborhood in Detroit. He's there, locking up the door in the alley when this guy comes up to him and tries to rob him. That is, this guy with a knife decides he's going to mug this Japanese guy who is in his prime, who is the size of a small mountain, and locking up a martial arts school.


Well, Kushida Sensei's idea of "making harmony" wasn't quite as ... evolved as it would become in later years. His assailant ended up in the hospital for a while. Kushida Sensei felt bad about busting him up and visited him every day, brought flowers, etc. 


The harmony thing worked out though. The bad guy took the opportunity of having some "down time" to think about his life and ended up becoming a minister who worked to improve the neighborhood he once prowled.


Anyway, to the story Walt sent me ...

Mugger picks wrong victim: MMA fighter

BY STEFANO ESPOSITO
AND TINA SFONDELES

Staff Reporters

Last Modified: Dec 6, 2011 04:17PM

“Justin” is 6 feet 2, 250 pounds, with a build that looks like it could split open a suit jacket during a particularly violent sneeze.

But the mixed martial arts expert from Des Plaines insists it was his “training,” not brawn, that allowed him to wrench a loaded pistol from the hand of an alleged mugger who had the weapon pointed at his chest Friday night on the Southwest Side.

“I don’t feel like a hero,” said Justin, who did not want his last name used. “Training matters. If you’re well trained, you have a chance to survive.”

Anthony Miranda’s bruised and battered face — and Justin’s unblemished, chiseled one — leaves no doubt about who came out the victor in the encounter.

Who Needs Fiction: The Stalled Dragon

A friend sent me an article from which I placed an excerpt below. The whole article may be read here.

Plan for Bruce Lee museum in Hong Kong stalls

Min Lee, Associated Press

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Hong Kong --
Efforts to build a Bruce Lee museum in the late kung fu movie star's hometown of Hong Kong have been stalled again.

Fans have been calling for an official tribute to the screen icon for years. Their hopes appeared to be answered two years ago when the Hong Kong government and the owner of Lee's former home reached an agreement to convert the property - a two-story house currently used as an hourly love motel - into a museum.

Who Needs Fiction: What Would Zhuang Zi Do?

A very old Chinese Taoist story describes a farmer in a poor country village. His neighbors considered him very well-to-do. He owned a horse which he used for plowing and for transportation. One day his horse ran away. All his neighbors exclaimed how terrible this way, but the farmer simply said "Maybe."

A few days later the horse returned and brought two wild horses with it. The neighbors all rejoiced at his good fortune, but the farmer just said "Maybe."

The next day the farmer's son tried to ride one of the wild horses. The horse threw him and the son broke his leg. The neighbors all offered their sympathy for his misfortune, but the farmer again said "Maybe."

The next week conscription officers came to the village to take young men for the army. They rejected the farmer's son because of his broken leg. When the neighbors told him how lucky he was, the farmer replied "Maybe."

A friend sent me a news story which I've posted below. The original article may be read here. Read the news story, think about the folk story and put yourself in the subject's place.

My brother found himself in a somewhat similar position. He found a suitcase in the street in front of his house. He opened it, hoping to find some sort of identification to return it to it's owner. It was full of jewelry.


The thought of keeping it passed in a moment as he considered all of the possible bad things that could happen as a result of his keeping the suitcase. He turned it into the police.


It turned out to belong to a local jewelry store. I don't remember the explanation of how it got into the street, but the jewelry store gave him a cash reward of something like $500 or $1000 (this is over 30 years ago). Certainly enough to be a reward, but not enough to be another burden.


For myself, I think winning the Lottery would be one of life's greatest calamities.

Man finds $150K in his backyard, turns it in

By Kelsey Williams, SFGate.com:

On Monday, Wayne Sabaj, 49, an unemployed carpenter living in McHenry County, Ill., (about 60 miles northwest of Chicago) found some green stuff in his garden-about $150,000 worth, stuffed into two duffel bags.

The Chicago Tribune reports: "[Sabaj] contemplated his position for about a half hour, then - fearing that the money might have come from a bank robbery and someone might come back looking for it-he called the McHenry County Sheriff's Department."

Sabaj, clearly a realistic sort, did not toast his good fortune at the load of dough that literally appeared in his backyard, but said to his father, "We have enough problems, now we got another problem.  Look what I found in the garden."

At this point the police are baffled by the discovery, and for all they know, it could be that a leprechaun has traded in pots-of-gold for duffels of cash. Still they are examining the bags and their contents for clues and say they will work with Sabaj to see if he can keep the money if no true owner or explanation is found.

All I want to know: What kind of fertilizer does Sabaj use?

Who Needs Fiction or Strategy #1: Deceive the Heavens to Cross the Ocean

A friend sent me an article from which I've posted an excerpt below. The full article may be read here.


Strategy #1 from The 36 Strategies, "Deceive the Heavens to Cross the Ocean" involves using a ruse, which is just what our Romeo did.


The story which goes along with this strategy goes something like this:


This stratagem references an episode in 643 AD, when Emperor Taizong of Tang, balked from crossing the sea to a campaign against Koguryo. His general Xue Rengui thought of a stratagem to get the emperor across and allay his fear of seasickness: on a clear day, the emperor was invited to meet a wise man. They entered through a dark tunnel into a hall where they feasted. After feasting several days, the Emperor heard the sound of waves and realised that he had been lured onto a ship! General Xue drew aside the curtains to reveal the ocean and confessed that they had already crossed the sea: Upon discovering this, the emperor decided to carry on and later completed the successful campaign.

Hitman falls in love with target and fakes her murder with tomato sauce

by Greig Box-Turnbull, Daily Mirror

With a gag in her mouth, a machete in her side and covered in “blood” this woman looks like the victim of a brutal murder.

But Iranildes Araujo did not suffer a cruel end – her death was faked with tomato sauce after a hitman fell in love with her.

Hired killer Carlos de Jesus was paid £345 to murder Iranildes by Maria Simoes who thought she was having an affair with her husband.

But when de Jesus saw his intended target he fell head over heels and confessed to her.

The pair then conjured up a plan to fool his employer into believing he carried out the hit.
Iranildes said: “I tore my shirt, put the knife by my side, then he tied me up and smothered me with tomato ketchup.”

The former convict then sent the sham photo of Iranildes to his client.

But the ruse was discovered three days later when Maria saw them kissing.

Amazingly she went to police to complain she had been conned out of her money.

Who Needs Fiction: Be Careful Whom You Fight

Sun Tzu would admonish us about picking the wrong opponent to fight. Below is an excerpt from an article which appeared in the Associated Press. You may read the whole article here.


We should certainly learn from the mistakes of others.

California man killed by armed bird at cockfight

Monday, February 7, 2011

(02-07) 15:09 PST Delano, Calif. (AP) --

A Kern County man attending a cockfight died after being stabbed in the leg by a bird that had a knife attached to its own limb.

The coroner says 35-year-old Jose Luis Ochoa was declared dead at the hospital about two hours after he suffered the injury in neighboring Tulare County on Jan. 30.

Who Needs Fiction: The Flying Fists of Kung Fu

An article in The Economist. The original article may be read here.

Hong Kong Airlines

Kung Fu flight attendant

Apr 21st 2011, 11:32 by A.B.

NEXT time you travel with Hong Kong Airlines, you might want to think a little harder about behaving loutishly. The carrier's cabin crew have been given compulsory training in wing chun, a form of kung fu that is ideal for close-quarter combat.

A spokeswoman for the airline told the Sunday Morning Post about a recent in-flight application of the new skills:

One of the passengers was sick but he was probably drunk and felt unwell. The crew member attended to him and she realised her fitness was helping her, especially because the guy was quite heavy.
Normally, a female cabin crew can't handle a fat guy, especially if he's drunk, but because of the training, she can handle it quite easily.

An article on Wing Chun wouldn't be complete without a video of Bruce Lee, would it?