Budo and Training

Below is an excerpt from a post from Green Leaves Forest. The full post may be read here.

Kyudo is about ups and downs.

It’s not a machine. It doesn’t fit nicely into a day-planner. It cannot be forced.

Kyudo is a natural phenomenon of the universe, its own entity in and of itself, and at the same time an interactive member with everything else it exists along. Kyudo follows certain laws of nature, and while it can be predicted to an extent, it also defies logic at times and shifts in ways we couldn’t expect.

In our modern world of science, not everything is known about the universe, and the same goes for Kyudo. One could even say we know close to nothing about the true nature of the universe, and the same could be said for Kyudo.

One could say the entire universe can be found within ourselves, and perhaps one could say the same about Kyudo.

I have been struggling lately with the bow.

But I am not worried.

I used to worry. But it serves no use. And I don’t like it. So I don’t so it anymore.

I make mistakes and don’t perfectly accomplish what I set out to do,

but I don’t worry.

People I train with have been saying lately, “Zac, you’re not as good as you were when you passed the renshi test.”

Naturally this bothers me. I let it in, and let it pass, because I don’t want to hold on to it.

It makes me want to worry. It makes me want to ask myself, “What’s wrong?” That is a great question, but maybe nothing is “wrong.” Well, maybe something in my technique is “wrong.” But am I, as a person, “wrong”?

My technique is far from perfect, so I guess you can say it’s “wrong.”

I practice Kyudo to cultivate myself, so if I am aiming to become a better self than I am now, then perhaps I could call the present self “wrong”. But I don’t think it’s a very accurate description of the situation, or being that I am.