Here at the frontier, the leaves fall like rain. Although my neighbors are all barbarians, and you, you are a thousand miles away, there are still two cups at my table.

Ten thousand flowers in spring, the moon in autumn, a cool breeze in summer, snow in winter. If your mind isn't clouded by unnecessary things, this is the best season of your life.

~ Wu-men ~

Monday, May 11, 2009

Who Needs Fiction: My Money Troubles Are Over!

What luck! The contract was a temporary measure, but now all my financial troubles are over. This just arrived in my inbox:

Assalam Aleykoum ,

I am Mr Mohamed Garuba,the Senior & Auditor General of a Bank, during the Re: Transfer of $28,000,000.00 Twenty Eight Million USD)course of our auditing, I discovered a floating fund in an accountopened in the bank in 2000 and since 2003 nobody has operated on this account again.
After going through some old files in the records I discovered that the owner of the account died without a [heir] hence the money is floating and if I do not remit this money out urge ntly it will be forfeited for nothing.
The owner of this account is a foreigner, a miner and an industrialist. He made millions of dollars before he died victoriously .Since DEC 26 2003 website details as follow:> and no other person knows about this account or any thing concerning it.

My investigation proved to me that the account has no other beneficiary and that until his death he was the manager director of aluminium & steel industries (PTY). SA. We will
start the transfer with the total sum involved {twenty Eight million dollars [$28,000,000.00 only, into your account, as a safe foreigners bank account abroad, but I don't know any foreigner abroad that's why I have contacted you to bear the legal sole beneficiary of the fund.

I am revealing this to you with believe in God that you will never let me down in this business. Also send your private telephone number and fax number including the full details of the account to be used for the deposit. I need your strong assurance that you will never let me down in this business proposition.

With my influence and the position in the bank, as an official whom is working in our favour we can transfer this money to any foreigner's reliable account which you can provide with assurance that this money will be intact pending my physical arrival in your country for sharing.

The bank official will destroy all documents of transaction immediately you receive this fund leaving and they will be no trace to any place and to build confidence you can wrote immediately to discuss with me the modalities,after I will make this remittance in your presented account and fix my resign date, to fly down to your country at least 7 days ahead of the fund transferred and confirm into the account.

At the conclusion of this business, you will be given 50% of the total amount, 50% will be for me, while 5% will be for your expenses might have incurred during the process of transferring. Reply to my private mail to you,

I am waiting for your reply.
(Best Regards)
Mr Mohamed Garuba,


walt said...

I dunno ...

My advice is to hold out for at least 60%, seeing as how
1) you're worth it, and
2) inflation concerns.

Some guys have all the luck!

wv sez: slime, so perhaps it knows something?

Rick Matz said...

First the contract, then this. I'm on a roll. I think I'll liquidate everything I have to raise some cash and invest in lottery tickets!

Zen said...


Rick Matz said...