What Getting Punched in the Face Taught Me
Dealing with a punch is no different than dealing with conflict—you can cower, escalate, block, redirect, or simply move out of the way.
By Sam Yang - Get similar updates hereGetting punched in the face is rather unpleasant. You should avoid it if at all possible. If you, however, have gotten punched in the face or train in a discipline where you're getting punched in the face frequently, get the most out of it. There are valuable life lessons there (and it would be a waste if all you got from the experience was head trauma).
Conflict Management
Getting punched is really an education in conflict. As a wise dramatist once told me, "Conflict is drama, action is character." From a martial arts perspective, life is conflict, and your actions define your character. The martial artist believes you can have thoughts regarding yourself—write your memoir, have all the best intentions—but your actions are the lasting evidence of your character. A punch serves as a metaphor for life and your reactions—conflict management.If you were to look into the origins of human conflict, it may stem from the first moment a human laid hands on another human. No matter the complexity of an issue, it still operates under the same rules of a physical fight. The "civilized" world uses financial domination rather than physical. Same struggle, different domain.
Fists have a way of finding cowards. Fighting is about choices, training is about learning the best choices: the least sacrifice for the most benefit. Dealing with a punch is no different than dealing with conflict—you can cower, escalate, block, redirect, or simply move out of the way.
Ways People React to a Punch:
1. Cower
Chip gets to the checkout of his supermarket, and there's a long line. Chip blames the world. Chip says to himself, "Of course there's a line. This always happens to me. My life sucks." In Chip's mental movie, he's the protagonist who's always getting kicked around. He has turned a long line at the supermarket into Doctor Zhivago, all in his own mind. Chip looks at his cart, and he has fewer items than lots of the other folks. He thinks, "Why aren't they going out of their way to let me go ahead of them?" The cruelty of it all. A minor, fleeting annoyance has become the worst possible thing that could ever happen to Chip. He can smell the kale rotting in his cart.Fight promoters don't care if fighters win or lose as long as they give it all they've got. The fighters who try to win to the very end, even in a losing effort, are still rewarded. The fighters who mentally break, cower, and wait for the referee to save them, are unlikely to be brought back.
It's a fight; mercy is not guaranteed. Once a fighter wilts, their opponent will only turn up the intensity. Some people can't finish what they start, and some people are amazing finishers. Cowering doesn't lessen damage; it only increases it—the worst of all worlds. Sometimes people with inferior technique will win when they have more will to fight. A person who knows every technique but lacks the will to fight makes for a better victim than a person who knows nothing but will fight with every inch of their being. Forget about intent, your actions define your character.
2. Escalate
Phil is given directions to a job site. It doesn't take Phil long to realize he's at the wrong place. Phil doesn't call his boss to check in or to see if there's a possible mistake since it's not his mistake. Phil is feeling righteous. The boss calls, he's understandably upset that Phil's not at the job site. Phil tells his boss where he is; his boss realizes he gave Phil the wrong address. Phil's boss apologizes for his mistake but is still upset that Phil didn't take responsibility to correct the situation when he became aware of the error first. Phil thinks, "How dare my boss be upset at me. He's not allowed to be upset. I'm the one who should be upset because I'm the one who waited around. It's my boss's fault, not mine. It's just another example of my boss trying to pass the blame to his employees." Phil keeps a mental ledger of all perceived slights against him.
It's smart to be hard but hard to be smart.
In a professional fight, you'll have fighters who take a punch to give a
punch. "How dare he punch me? I'll show him!" Do you want to be right
or do you want to get the job done? Being easy to work with, getting the
job done when situations aren't perfect are advantages when climbing
the rungs of a company. It's the question amateur fighters need to ask
themselves: Do you want to prove how tough you are or do you want to win
the fight? Do you want to prove you're stronger than your opponent by
taking a punch to give a harder punch, or do you want to be smart and
walk away with the winner's purse—hit without being hit, and maintaining
a long career? It's what separates the best from the tough.